Painful....

I was looking forward to staying at the apartment....
I was very excited....
Until I heard the news....

I might look I'm fine....
I might look like I'm ignoring you....
But the truth is, it's so painful that I'm barely able to face you....

It's painful but I don't blame you....

Just be happy.... :')

Did you come here after reading my post in facebook? XD

Mind, blank. Heart, beating so fast.

I missed you so much...

Yet, whenever I see you,
Heart starts beating like hell,

My mind turns blank,

Could not thought of anything to say...

Once, I old my self, "If I ever had a chance to talk to you, I would do anything...".

Yet, nothing came out from my mouth...
I feel so pathetic and useless...

Freedom at last(?)........

At last, I went out for an outing with my friends.

It's Hong's birthday!! :D
We went to Tutti fruitti to celebrate his birthday. (It was actually my first time there. xD)
Also went to a book fair. Somewhere in Puchong? I bought 3 books. Like usual, FANTASY books. :D

The world's so small. Why? Coz I met Chee Kong!! And it's in PUCHONG(?)!!

Anyways,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUM PENG HONG!! :D

Thanks for everything you've done!! :D Have an awesome birthday!! :D

Freedom...

Mom, dad, I really want my freedom...

I understand when you don't allow me to go out before this because exams are near.

Now, exams are over... I think I deserve to go out...

I know, you guys need someone to help out at work. I will. But at least give me some time since it's just after exams.

Stop saying big brother this did this, did that, worked when he was at my age, or something else as excuses. Big brother and I are two different people. We both have different thoughts and personalities.

Stop comparing me with him.

So what if he worked when he was at my age? Do I have to be like him? Why didn't you name me after him and add then add 'Junior' at the end? Why can't I be who I want to be and do what I want?

Don't say I live a better life now compared to his, last time. The past is the past. Besides, It's his past, not mine.

You said when I go out, I tend to turn bad. But did I?

NO.

You guys need to have more faith in me...

All I'm trying to say is, I'm old enough to take care of myself and I deserve a bit more freedom than this...

I don't wanna spend all my youth working. I wanna spend my youth having fun.

I'll work hard when the time comes...

FREEDOM...

Friend...

We were once very close friends.

Almost like brothers.

You understood what I was thinking and I understood yours.

You taught me a lot of things and I feel very grateful.

But, as time passes, we went to different classes. Last year, we still talk to each other. But very seldom. I didn't really come to you coz, it's like every time I follow you to wherever you go. People start calling me gay or some shit. So, I kept my distance. I don't wanna be some gay shit. I don't wanna be some wannabe asshole. I'm straight. I know people say it as some joke. But I thought of it. I have to grow up, mix with others. Stop following someone.

So, we became distant friends. VERY seldom talking to each other. I still think of you as a friend. You still joke with me. But the thing is, you keep making fun of me. Can't you think of some other things to say to me when you see me? Like say 'Hi' or something else? I say 'Hi' to you and then you call me a gaylord or some other shit.

That's all. Ciao.

P.S: I post this just to express my feelings to a ONCE close friend. I'm not a gay ==

Lost good times...

Hi all. How long has it been since the last time I ever updated this dead blog? A lot has happened these past few months. Those who I was once close with are now distant... those who I barely talk to, are currently close to me... Still, there are those like, Bing Xi, Chee Poh, Soon Way, Stanleigh and some others that I'm still close with. But I still feel lonely without those whom I was very close with last year...

This year might just be the last year I'm in this school. The beginning of this year, my mom told if I could get good results for my Final Year Exam this year, she would help me transfer to SMKDJ. Later on, she told a friend that she would transfer me to SMKDJ. Usually, she wouldn't say anything that she isn't really going to do.

This year, I'm being more open instead of emo-ing like I did. So, when I thought of how my old friends from my primary school will treat me like last time, I became lost. There was once when my friend told me that, it's already been so long. Do they really still think of me as their close and best friend? But if stay in this school, there are no activities that I would like to participate in...

I felt lost...

I really' didn't think of that...

Am I being too naive?

Are they still going think of me as their best and close friend?

Will they treat me differently?

Will I regret transfering school?

I made a poll in this blog to help make up my mind... though I think there isn't anyone going to vote since this is a really dead blog? I'm planning to update this blog more...

Apartment Days during Chinese New Year

Day 1, leaving home at around 6:50 am for school as usual. School ended 10 minutes earlier than usual. Reach home at around 12pm. Took bath. Then packed my luggage. Around 3pm my brother, Hua Jen, Wei Jien and Sek Cheng came back from market after buying things for BBQ. Then around 4pm, Wei Jien fetch Sek Cheng and Hua Jen back home and then pick up Kean Lee. Had a headache during the journey (don't know why). Then we go to the apartment. Upon reaching we went in, put our luggage down and relax. When it was time, we went down to the BBQ spot Wei Jien booked. We were lacking of charcoal. So, Wei Jien and Kean Lee went out to buy more. Esther, Esther's boyfriend and Esther's sister arrived. Fire was started after 2 hours of hard work. Started eating. It was nice. After BBQ Esther and Co. went back home. Me, my brother, Kean Lee and Wei Jien still chilling there. Hua Jen, Sek Cheng and Sek Cheng's sister at around 10pm if I'm not wrong. Peng Hong, Lydia and Edalene arrived too. Then we all went up to the apartment and started playing. I finally got to play my uncle's ps2 that I brought over. When it was around 12am everyone went to sleep except for me and Sek Cheng. We were playing "Ultimate Ninja 5" like crazy til around 4 am. Then I fell asleep. And... Sek Cheng was still playing O.o... That's the end of day 1 for me. I think this is too long and so I added a picture so it won't get too boring. :D That's all. Cya.